WHOOPS I FORGOT TUMBLR WAS A THING
SO WHAT’S NEW IN THE LIFE OF ZAH WELL LET’S SEE:
- I will be homeless after May 25th
You wish I was kidding but haha I’m not)
- I finally like my art, again!!
- SCHOOL IS DONE YESSSS
— But no really I get paid once a month and my paycheque is so tiny that I…
Yeaaah. Been in an acrylics class this semester and all my art-mojo’s been going into it. I love the class, though! But here’s my final. 18x36 on canvas. When I get a decent camera at my disposal, I’ll put the rest of my semester up. (Screw you, webcam…)
Will be up in just about 20 minutes! If you wanna hang out and chill, stop on by. If I can find it, I’ll show a request. SO far is Hellboy, Amazing Spiderman, Dark Knight on the table
Okay so I’ve been on a superhero kick for the past week and I want to do soemthing about it.
Howsabout a superhero movie marathon stream? Like whatever movies I can get a hold of, but no matter what there will be The Incredibles. Maybe we can get some Amazing Spiderman in there, some Batman, Iron Man, maybe the Avengers if I can get my hands on it. Hell, even Darkwing Duck if someone can direct me to it.
(You might even get to see me work on a webcomic where people have kinda-superpowers.)
So? Yay? Nay? If not tomorrow, I can do it this upcoming Friday. (Hopefully.)
There is literally nothing better than a sexy, badass lady.
CHING MOTHERFUCKING SHIH
This lady was such a badass, I can’t count the ways, but let’s try.
She got married to an already successful pirate, Zheng Yi, and took over when he died. She was crazy strict to keep an iron fist over her fleet of pirates, and the punishments for stepping out of line were brutal. If you stole or looted from a town that provided assistance or tribute to the pirate fleet, Ching would chop your fucking head off with a battle axe and dump your lifeless body in the ocean. If you stole from the pirate treasury, or she thought you were stealing from the pirate treasury, Ching would chop your fucking head off dump your lifeless body in the ocean. Raping any captured female prisoners was punishable by immediate death. Fuck, if you had consensual sex while on duty you got your head chopped off and the woman was chucked off the boat no matter where they were at. Ching wasn’t fucking around, and she wanted to make damn sure you weren’t fucking around when you should have been working.
Two years after she took over, she got so notorious for ransacking towns and taking taxes on them that she pissed off the entire Chinese government, and sent out a massive fleet to bring her in line. Most pirates probably would’ve said this was out of their pay grade and taken off to hide out or ransack some other country.
Ching Shih said fuck that.
She not only faced them head on, she wiped the floor with them, killing hundreds and capturing sixty-something ships from the Imperial Fleet. Prisoners were given the choice of joining up or being executed on the spot. The Admiral of the Chinese navy, Kwo Lang, was so afraid of being captured by her or going back to admit he’d been beaten by her that he committed suicide.
For the next two years, Ching Shih not only kept on pirating, she fought off Chinese forces as well as Dutch and British warships that the navy called in to help. Finally the government gave up and offered her amnesty as well as amnesty for her then SEVENTEEN THOUSAND crewman. Ching Shih got to keep all her plunder, so she retired to the countryside where she opened up a brothel and lived until she was 69.
tldr: I’ve come to terms with the reality that I’ll never be as terrifyingly badass as this woman was.
i will be as badass as she
You know, I heard of her, but I’d either forgotten or never heard that she grew old and retired having never been brought down or defeated ever.
She won being a pirate.
She got history’s high score.
• Accidentally close a tab? Ctrl+Shift+T reopens it.
• Bananas release dopamine, eat them when you’re sad.
• CTRL+SHIFT+ESC is the one handed version of CTRL+ALT+DEL
• Don’t brush your teeth hard, it makes them sensitive and removes enamel.
• Don’t like spiders? Put citronella oil on your walls and they will not go there.
• Drink one glass of water for every alcoholic drink you have, you’ll get drunk without getting a hangover.
• Get clear ice cubes by boiling water before freezing it
• Heal paper cuts and immediately stop the pain with chapstick.
• If you accidentally write on your dry erase board with a permanent marker, scribble over it with a dry eraser marker to remove it.
• If your shoes smell, put them in the freezer overnight, it will kill the bacteria.
• Make bug bites stop itching with a banana peel.
• Make a paper longer with 12-point text, but 14-point periods and commas.
• Need to get around a blocked website at work? Try replacing the http:// with https://
• Never send your resume as a word file (unless asked) Instead, save it to a pdf file, it’s much cleaner and professional looking.
• Pick a flavor of gum you don’t normally chew, and chew it while studying during a test.
• Place a piece of bread in a container with your homemade cookies and they will stay soft.
• Put a dry towel into a dryer with wet clothes, they will dry faster.
• Put toothpaste on a pimple and it will dry out.
• Practise fake smiling in the mirror every day before going to work/school, you’ll genuinely start to feel happier.
• Rub canola/olive oil on knives before cutting onions, you won’t cry, alternatively chew gum and you won’t either.
• Short on time with a wrinkled dress shirt? Hang it up in the bathroom while showering to steam it flat.
• The night before, place things you don’t want to forget the next morning on top of your shoes.
• Use hydrogen peroxide to remove blood stains from clothing.
• When cleaning windows use newspapers or coffee filters instead of paper towels, they will not leave streaks.
• When microwaving bread products/pizza put a glass of water in with it, it will keep your bread from going spongy.
• When you move into a new place you’re renting, take pictures of any and all damage, then post them on facebook (privately if preferred) so you can use the reference date as proof you didn’t do it.
• When searching plane tickets online delete your cookies prior, prices go up when you visit a site multiple times.
I actually did a lot of work today so I’m totally allowed to draw gratuitous fluff if I want. Because I’m an adult.
And this is why you need to draw more fluff.
Doodled this late, and then stayed up until 2am coloring it. THis is why I need to figure out when to leave a doodle alone. XDD One of the many lessons of life I guess.
(I think everyone I know who knows these characters ships them. XDD This is a fantastic fact.)
But, hey! I like it and had fun. ENJOY!
24: Would you have sex with your best friend?
Don’t really have anyone I consider a “best friend”, really! And the closest people I would consider best friends are involved already, so not really?
30: Do you watch porn?
Eh, a little? XD I find my imagination can be much more appealing, though.
26: Something that will never fail to get you horny?
Oooh, tough…I’ve been having problems getting riled up lately. XD I guess breast-play can get me physically hot and bothered, even if my brain isn’t totally into it.
15: Most embarrassing thing that’s even happened to you during sex?
Hmmm…I don’t remember a lot of EMBARRASSING things, per say. There’s the time he tried to pick me up from the couch and tripped on the coffee table…or that time we were just about to get it on when we heard his roomate come home (with friends) and we bolted for the bedroom and bathroom, butt nekkid. Fun times.
Birthed from something I doodled in class today. I dunno, I just liked the pose and wanted to make it pretty. XD And I wanted to test some placements for Skyler’s battle scars.
Been a while since I’ve drawn Miss or Mister. XD I was just sketching away and they just appeared on the canvas. Mister will be up tomorrow. I just likes these two doodles of Miss. I think I’m FINALLY getting her actual body proportions right. She’s a curvy girl with an amazing ass. (Oh, and she can, you know, shoot you dead. That’s important, too.)